Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Driving Lesson


Grace slid into the driver’s seat and I sat, uneasily, next to her on the passenger side.  On the previous two Sunday mornings, her mom had taken Grace for her first driving lessons in the grocery store parking lot. But now, it was my job to take her for her first “on the road” lesson.

I had assumed that her mom would have continued the lessons since she is an “in charge” kind of person and was a very involved parent. Vicky was self assured and confident in everything she did; but, it turned out, she was nervous about her baby driving on the road.  But Grace shouldn’t have felt badly, her mom didn’t like my driving either. 

I chose another Sunday morning for Grace’s lesson, hoping that there would be little traffic on the road.  Things went well for the first few blocks. We turned out of the driveway and headed north a few blocks.  She turned left and drove a couple more blocks.   

As we proceeded down the street, I noticed that there were several cars stopped ahead of us at the next intersection.  Grace didn’t slow down.  Thinking I should not overreact, I said calmly: ‘You need to slow down honey.” She hit the brakes suddenly and let out a long sigh.

I used this opportunity to explain that she needed to anticipate what was happening on the road ahead to avoid having to make sudden stops. Grace responded:  “Well, if you’re going to be all over me like that, this driving lesson thing isn’t going to work.”

I was a little surprised by her reaction, although I shouldn’t have been.  She always knew just what to say to send me over the edge.  In a huff, I threatened, “Yeah, maybe this isn’t going to work. If you can’t listen to me, we’re going to have to get you a private instructor.”  To which, she uttered her classic comeback:  “Whatever.”
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I wrote this for the Week 109 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33-333 word composition using the word, “whatever”, in the context of indicating that something which is said or done is not important.

I’m not sure whether my entry technically meets the third definition of “whatever”, as an adverb, since it is not modifying a verb, an adjective or another adverb. I’ve used this word in the now colloquial single word sentence, which is how many people, especially teenagers, actually speak. If I had used this word in the traditional way, in a full sentence, it would have been stated as “Whatever you want.”, which, I believe would qualify as an adverb.  

Your comments are appreciated.   

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Holiday Spectacle

I heard an NPR news report today that the Guinness World Record for the largest number of Christmas lights is now held by an Australian family, with 500,000 lights.  Apparently, they beat out an American family who topped out at 350,000. 

I’m glad the Americans lost the title, though, I’m sure, they will come back to try to top the Australians.  I dread the thought of how many lights it will take to set the record next year.

Has anybody thought about the huge waste of energy this is? Isn't it bad enough that we pollute the air to make electicity for necessary consumption? I’d like to pluck these half-wits out of their mindless cocoons and shake them silly. 

Sure, I know that this energy abuse is just a miniscule fraction of the overall consumption and waste, but, the symbolism of this spectacle is so disturbing. It drives me crazy that these people are rewarded for their excesses and that a multinational corporation promotes this useless macho competition.

And while I’m raving, I am wondering what any of this has to do with Christmas.  Or is that a stupid question?   
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I wrote this for the Week 105 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33-333 composition using the word “pluck” in this context:  “to move, remove, or separate forcibly or abruptly.”

Your comments are appreciated.    

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

My Companion

“Ok, what did you accomplish by saying that?...Did you really need to offer your opinion?...Jeez, that was a dumb-ass thing to do….So, what’s the big deal?...Just let it go!…Yeah, you showed his ass...but, maybe a little over the top, don’t you think?...Chill out man…you’re gonna’ get there eventually...Does everything have to be so serious?...Really, do you need to talk politics?...Just talk about the weather, for God’s sake…oh yeah, that’s a tough subject these days too... ”

If you hadn’t already guessed, I am introducing you to my inner companion. He goes wherever I go and talks to me all the time. He is a harsh critic and very judgmental. He’s especially annoying when he contradicts himself and rambles.

I think that most people have an inner companion, so I guess I can’t really complain. It’s just that this guy never shuts up.
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I wrote this for the Week 104 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33-333 word composition using the word, “companion” in the context of one that is closely connected with something similar or one who is employed to live with and serve another.

Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Scaredy Cat

I read the warning on the quit smoking medication: 

SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE SUICIDAL AND HOMICIDAL IDEATION, DEPRESSION, AGITATION, ANXIETY, HOSTILITY, ARACHNOPHOBIA, COULROPHOBIA AND CRAVING FOR CIGARETTES

Why am I a scaredy cat?

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I wrote this for the Week 90 Trifextra Writing prompt where we are to write exactly 33 words about what scares us or our character. 

Your comments are appreciated.

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Three Musketeers: Setting the Record Straight

The Three Musketeers
Historicalnovels.info
Though romanticized in Dumas’ fiction, the real Three Musketeers were a pathetic lot: Pathos, a habitual whiner, Orthos, couldn’t stand straight without his corrective boots and Ignoramus, was…well, just that, a real dumb-ass.
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Blogger's Notes:  You will see that there are four people in the illustration.  The fourth person, on the far left, is Neuros, who was not technically a "Musketeer".  He was a mere "hanger on" and had "issues".

I wrote this for the Week 87 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write 33 words about a famous trio from literature, history or popular culture.
 
Your comments are appreciated.  

Friday, September 20, 2013

Wrong Place, Wrong Time: April 14, 1912

“Captain, I know you have no reason to listen to a guy wearing a Led Zeppelin T-shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops, but I’d steer clear of those icebergs if I were you.”
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I wrote this for the Week 86 Trifextra Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33-word time travel story. 

Your comments are appreciated. 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Everybody Loves Cinco de Mayo

As I listened to the crowd shout: “Viva Mexico! Viva Mexico! Viva
Mexico!” on Mexican Independence Day, I wondered why most people think that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico's Independence day. 

“El Grito de la Indepencia” (the Cry of Independence) was first heard in the small town of Delores, Mexico on September 16, 1810.  The actual date of Mexico’s independence from Spain did not occur until September 28, 1821, over a decade later, however, it is the date of the declaration of independence that is celebrated. 

So, what is Cinco de Mayo?  That date commemorates the improbable Mexican victory over the much larger French army on May 5, 1862 in the Battle of Puebla. Indeed, some said the Mexicans were chasing a rainbow the day they took on the French and it wasn’t until four years later that the French finally withdrew from Mexico.

While Cinco de Mayo is a day of celebration, it is not a Mexican national holiday, nor is it widely celebrated in Mexico.  It is mainly celebrated by Mexicans who live in the state of Puebla (Hooray for the home team!) and, of course, “sympathetic” Americans who enjoy pounding down a few beers in support of the “cause.”  

Ok then, why is Cinco de Mayo such a big deal?  As I pictured all those gringos downing their Coronas with limes jammed in the bottlenecks, I started wondering whether Corona was hoping to promote sales and created this “national [read: American] holiday”.  After all, didn’t some greeting card company invent Mother’s and Father’s Days?  And it dawned on me that “Dieciséis de Septiembre” (September 16) is not nearly as catchy as “Cinco de Mayo.”

Ok, Corona, tell us the truth.  It was a big marketing campaign, right?  I can picture those big inflated Corona bottles bouncing around every Mexican restaurant on May 5th.  It’s cool, you can tell us.  Everybody loves Cinco de Mayo.   
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I wrote this for the Week 95 Trifecta Writing Challenge where we are to write a 33-333 word composition using the word “rainbow” in the context of “an illusory goal or hope.” 

Your comments are appreciated.